Radically Finished, Scared and Full of Hope

November 18, 2010 at 8:45 pm 3 comments

To the Linux people, this is the last posting on the Radical Read-Along.  God bless you guys and I hope you read.

I was struggling with finishing this book.  Not because it was a hard read, but because God is bringing me and my family to the mat with a lot of things.

Chapter 8

The part that moved me a lot in this chapter was when the mission team was serving patients with HIV.  Would I risk getting pricked with a needle and contracting HIV for the Lord??  Would I go and pray for people who are infected with a deadly disease?  I am starting to believe that I could and I will get to more of that later in the wrap.

Chapter 9

The one year challenge seems easy until you get to number 4.  First, I regularly pray for the world already.  Second, in the last year I have read through the Bible at least once plus I regular read scripture 1-3 times a day.  It’s in my routine.  So I already got that one.  Third, sacrificing my money for a specific purpose.  This is probably one area I need to work on.  While I do faithfully pay the Lord’s tithe (it’s not MY tithe), I don’t always go beyond that.  I need to be better on this one.  Number four and number five can really go together.  Number 4 is changing the context.  That is always a good thing for both yourself and the Lord’s mission.  By doing number 4 faithfully, I believe number 5 will just happen.  You may not be multiplying your community of believers,  but you are multiplying the Lord’s global community.  Even then, what is to say that on your visit to Africa or even down the street won’t result in the that person moving to America and that person coming to your Church??  However have I done well at either??  Probably not.  I know I will do this and hopefully soon, but I have a little more to share that gets back to what I hinted about in my blurb on Chapter 8.

Scared…

While it’s not quite putting my life on the line for the Lord, it kind of feels like it when I tell you what I am about to.  Those who have been reading my blog already know that my son has Asperger’s and for those of you that are new, well now you know.

Asperger’s is a form of Autism and is on the higher end of functioning.  He’s very intelligent, but has issues dealing with people socially.  He’s also quite prone to certain behaviors that include drumming on things, exploding at us when he’s frustrated and obsessing about things.  We’re getting treatment for him, but no drug will completely keep him from doing these things.

I would be lying if I said that it’s easy being a parent of a child with this disability is easy.  It’s not.  It’s very stressful.  To add to all of this, he’s recently been having issues in school to the point where we are not happy with the grades he’s been bringing home.  His teacher keeps telling us he’s doing ok but needs to finish his work faster.  The thing is, he can’t.

My lovely wife is fortunate that she has a at home job, but trying to line up things like services and other things like meeting with his teachers about his education plan take a lot of time.  So much so, that she was just stressed out beyond belief trying to complete her normal work.  She brought up taking a leave of absence….a unpaid leave of absence.  So I do what seems to be the norm for me these days and that was getting on my knees and pray.  After praying, I felt that Lord wanted us to take this as a leap of faith.  Really God?  We have to do this?  Yep.

Now it’s not anywhere near the same as putting my life on the line, but it sure feels like it.  For the next 30-60 days we will lose my wife’s income.  We will have to change some of the things we do.  We’ll have to conserve our money and food.  It will be hard.   The one thing we won’t stop doing is paying the Lord’s tithe.  I know if I continue to faithfully serve the Lord, that he indeed will provide…..but I am so scared!

In the end, I hope that it give my wife the time she needs to destress and maybe….just maybe the Lord will bless us to the point where she doesn’t have to work.  Maybe….just maybe losing this little part of the American Dream will increase our faith, cause us to give more and to grow our families faith in Christ.

Thank you for posting about this read along on Facebook Gabe and Marla thank YOU for organizing it.  I know that you will pray for me and my family and I will for you.  Gee….I think Marla started a community!  Oh and please DO have another read along!  It was great!

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Entry filed under: Christian, Radical Read Along.

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3 Comments

  • 1. Marla Taviano  |  November 18, 2010 at 11:13 pm

    Praying for you and your family, friend. I can’t imagine how tough this must be on all of you, but I’m excited to see what God teaches you through it.

    And yes, there will be another read-along. 🙂 It starts in January.

  • 2. gorkon  |  November 19, 2010 at 12:27 am

    Thank you Marla!

    Yeah it can be tough. God gave him to us though and I’ve never felt the Lord wanting me to do anything other than what we’re doing.

    It’s not what I want…..it’s what HE wants. He wants us to make this leap! I don’t know exactly what might happen, but my hope is that we find out we can live without her working at all (which would be awesome), Heck God can surprise me in any way here. He could bless us by getting me a new job that pays enough to take care of all of us. He could bless us by just getting us through this time period and then letting Misty get back to work. The more I think about it, I will be amazed no matter what his plan is because I have him on my side! If I left it up to my own devices, we’d probably be divorced by now. It’s only by his grace that I sit here noe typing this.

    I look at it this way…if God can make it possible to buy a Cambodian a Tuk Tuk, increase security of the storage of said Tuk Tuk PLUS save the owner of that Tuk Tuk, he can get our family through this!

  • 3. mOveIntEcH » Radically Finished, Scared and Full of Hope  |  November 20, 2010 at 5:54 am

    […] View the original article here Tags: Finished, Radically, Scared […]


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